Me |
Outwardly, I seem to be a successful, happy, centered person. I smile, I laugh, I love. The students that I work with like me, describe me as "laid back." I am a good student and get good grades. My family supports me, loves me, and misses me when I am gone. I have a few good friends. My husband and dog make me feel like they couldn't do without me. My internal experience, however, is in conflict with who I seem to be from the outside. The real, authentic "me" is hidden, for many reasons. At the center of all those reasons is the simple fact that I don't want to be hurt or rejected, so I hide what might seem weird, weak or abnormal, much of what is fundamentally me. I protect it and keep it safe by locking it away. I have built a wall around the best of me, a wall with no door, no way in or out. I want my lived experience to be directly linked to who I am and the things I most care about. I don't want to hide anymore. © Salahub 2003 |