Part of what keeps me from living the good life is fear.  Fear has become the most fundamental quality of my life.  I am afraid to speak, afraid to move, ultimately afraid to live.  I might make a mistake, then no one will love me and I will be alone.  Therefore, I must only engage in activities for which I am highly qualified or take action only when success is assured.  This sometimes overwhelming fear has been with me for as long as I can remember. I have wasted so much of my time, so much of myself, anticipating disasters that never even happen.  I am ultimately to blame for allowing it, but at the same time, my fear is both provoked and fed by the culture in which I struggle to live.  My attempts to live a good life and be a better person are thwarted by the lingering, smoldering myth of an American Dream. 

© Salahub 2003