I
am also angry because I thought that writing this thesis would be
an opportunity to piece together a system of beliefs that would
guide my life to a better place.
I lost my religion in my twenties, but I was sure that I
would find faith in something substantial by my thirties.
I haven’t, and they are more than half gone.
I am a reasonable, intelligent person and I thought that I
could study and think myself to something that made sense and was
stable, that would stand up against all the things that felt like
they were slowly crushing me.
I wanted some sort of moral guide, some philosophy that I
could center myself in. The
more I search, the more difficult the task seems to get.
|