At
the end of our first meeting, Dr. P. explained her assessment of my
condition. “You suffer
from something known as dysthymic depression.
It isn’t as severe as some depression, but it is chronic.
It is like being in a permanent state of gray.”
One of her questions during our first session had been “When
did your depression start? Can
you remember a specific event or moment?” and I had to answer, “I
don’t remember ever really being any different.”
This is the main characteristic of dysthymic disorder, that
people who have it will often report that they don't recall ever not
feeling depressed, even though they may be relatively functional in
managing their life. However,
the symptoms are severe enough to cause distress and interference with
important life role responsibilities.
Dr. P. explained that the other things I had complained
of—anxiety, panic attacks, trouble sleeping, weight gain, chronic
physical tension, not being able to relax, little to no
self-confidence—were all related to the disorder.
She also suspected that I have seasonal affective disorder and
that my sleep has been disrupted because of it, aggravating my
already gray mood.
© Salahub 2003 |