I find that I can no longer have faith or find comfort in a Christian version of God, the father figure who will accept no less than total devotion.  This is the god of my childhood, still the god of many people that I love who would be devastated or disgusted to hear me say such a thing, a god I am afraid to denounce completely because of a lingering and childish fear of his wrath, of Hell.

But, I have decided, if there is such a god, such a being, doesn't he know what is in my heart?  Wouldn't my only reason for devoting myself to his church be to please the other people there?  If it isn't authentic, won't he know?  So, what would be the point of pretending, of lying about it?

 

© Salahub 2003