What the Hell am I Doing?
About now, you might find yourself wanting me to answer to this question. Well, let me try.
I have never been a very political person. I didn't like to talk about the things I really thought, valued, and believed in. I didn't want to be attacked, seem too pretentious or make anyone feel bad. In fact, I have spent most of my life trying to be nice and quiet (not that I was ever that successful at either). One of my most central qualities was that I never wanted to make anyone mad at me. I hate confrontations and fighting, so I would do anything to avoid either. All that compromise and peace-keeping wasn't as comfortable as I had imagined it would be. I had a hard time getting my needs met and felt alienated because the people in my life didn't really know me that well. I was always hiding who I really was, censoring myself. It takes a lot out of you to always be conforming to what other people want from you, to always be trying so hard to not offend or bother anyone. For starters, you can't read other people's minds and even if they tell you, there is just no way to ever be completely certain that you are always doing the "right" thing. You can kill yourself bending over backwards, contorting yourself, and people will still get annoyed. So, I finally realized that if I was going to get in trouble, it might as well be for something I really believed in.
That was when I started to plan this site. I already was doing a lot of writing and talking about the things that were important to me and a website seemed like the next logical step. Here, I can organize those thoughts in an interesting way and share them with other people. So, what about the site?