I hate this position. I can't count the number of times I siad I would never do this again. But here I am again, down on my knees, even though I don't want to be. I hope that my subordination will appease him, encourage him to show me love. I hope that my mouth and clasped hands have the power to persuade him to offer some kind of relief from the hell I continually endure.
As silence engulfs the room, engulfs me, I am unsure as to how I should behave. He does not come; I have come to him. I have have invoked him. Should I reason with him? Should I propose an ulitmatum? Should I bargain? Make a deal? Should I be careful of what I ask for? After all, the last time I did this I got exactly what I wanted. The only problem was that what I wanted wasn't exact.