I was easily scared as a kid.  Again, the way that I am wired.  I didn’t like surprises or chaos.  This is still how I am as an adult, in fact, maybe even more so.  The ideal day to me is one when nothing out of the ordinary happens.   

My parents fought and yelled a lot when I was growing up.  I’m not sure if they fought more than normal married couples, but I hated it.  It scared me.  Maybe they knew they could fight and even if there wasn’t a resolution, they’d still be together in the end so it was safe to yell.  I’m not sure what they were thinking at the time, am not sure if that’s how they thought about it.  I’ve never asked.  I only know how I felt about it.  

For me, every fight was the potential end of our family.  The more they yelled and the angrier they got, the more I worried.  I would hide in my room, sometimes even get under the bed or in the closet, but there was no where to go in the house that you couldn’t hear them.  I developed a nervous cough, had nightmares and bit my nails.

© Salahub 2003