After twenty years, Dana and I are still friends.  There is a trust that comes with that sort of history that goes beyond being just friends.  She’s part of my family.  But, like family, we’ve had to learn compromise and respect for our differences.  

Dana has fully embraced the religion of her childhood and is a fundamentalist Christian attending a Baptist church.  She even writes the church newsletter and home-schools her three kids, who aren’t allowed to read the Harry Potter books.  I, on the other hand, do not practice any specific religion and believe that morality is possible without God or religion; have been married (for the second time) for almost ten years but don't have children yet; have liberal, humanist politics and attitudes; and have not only read all the Harry Potter books, I've seen the movies.  We have very different lives.

We still love each other just as fiercely as when we were rule-breaking teenagers, but we have to be more careful.  It is easier because we live 1200 miles apart and only see each other a few times a year, and her kids act as a buffer in the places that are more difficult to negotiate.  But, there are still things that we just don’t talk about because it is easier that way.

© Salahub 2003