My Authentic Life
Being a more authentic person is now one of my most fundamental concerns. What I mean by "authentic" is making sure that the life I live is representative of my self--that my insides and outsides match. I haven't always lived this way. I began my transformation by becoming more self-aware and from there, I made changes and choices based on that basic truth. This can be very difficult, as it means that there are times when the decisions I make are misunderstood or criticized by others. It requires that I look inside for truth, rather than following the way of another--choose the "road less traveled," as the poet Robert Frost would describe it or "walk to the beat of my own drum," as the singer Poe would say. I must be willing to trust myself above all else and risk being lonely, unpopular, or even hated.
My own journey towards authenticity began with wanting to understand more fully what it means to be human, a lifelong undertaking all by itself. From that general understanding grew a desire to know more completely what it meant to be me. As my self-awareness grows, I become increasingly disturbed by the difficulty I have matching my external experience to my internal reality. I find that my instincts about what is right, about how I should be living and what would make me the most satisfied and happy, are to do something that is fundamentally different than the dominant lifestyle of the place where I live. I always took for granted I would raise my children and grow old in the United States. However, it is increasingly clear to me that it's dominant culture is detrimental to my ability to live a happy, peaceful, fulfilling life. I'm not willing to settle for this, for as far as I know, this life is the only one I get.
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