My mom has turned out to be someone I honestly admire. I do not say that in a trite way.
I guess I never knew her the way I wanted to when I was younger. I am starting to understand why she may have been tired and bored with her life when I was a kid. She is a smart lady. I am sure she wanted the opportunity to show the world who she was, and what she was capable of.
I think my dad had other ideas. He wanted to be the breadwinner. My mom went to college, in Illinois, and she taught third grade for several years. She married my dad and had me in 1971. After my birth, she stayed home and was a housewife for the next 17 years, taking care of my dad, my sister, and I, as my dad moved us all over the country, and even to Europe. She was always there when I got home from school. I did like that.
But mom never got to show us herself, her real person, the one inside that I see in these pictures. I think maybe after a while she got tired of trying to convince my dad that she really wanted to make a difference out in the world. She resigned herself to staying at home. But she was not happy.
My mother finally had a chance to find herself when my father died. Like so many women from her generation, she was stuck in between being expected to stay home and just be a mother and wife, and having the ambition of wanting an education, a successful career, and a home life as well. She went back to school and got her master's degree when she was in her forties, and then entered the work world she'd been kept away from so long.
I have learned from
watching my mother struggle to find herself, her talents, and her interests
again. I do not wish to go though the same thing. I keep a conscious eye
on myself. I know that my hopes and dreams are the things that I have
to live for. Education and work are a tremendous part of that. I think
about the ways that her sacrifices for our family were far too great.
I want my mom to know that I admire her, for getting back out there, and for learning to believe in the power of her own mind again. I admire that she returned to school. I know it was the most difficult, yet empowering thing that she could do for herself. I know education for women is a tradition I can look to her and her sister Marquita for. I will carry that tradition to my own family.
Thank you, mom, for knowing that you have the right to be a strong, intelligent woman. I am proud of you.
I did this, for me,
and for you.