The following sample end comments correspond to the marginal comments listed in the previous section:
You've done an excellent job combining all of what we've discussed in Unit 1 into a strong ARE. Your revisions, in particular, demonstrate your awareness of academic writing conventions and ability to apply them to your own writing. The final draft of your ARE is well-structured and clearly connected to Anyon's text. Focusing your essay on Anyon's progression from observations to ideas, you state clear responses to those ideas and support your responses with relevant evidence.
In regard to that evidence, keep one suggestion in mind as you continue to write for academic contexts. Wherever possible, provide specific details and examples, leaving your reader with an image that supports your claims. This specificity would strengthen your second paragraph in particular. Your background as a student in two different schools is clearly relevant and gives you authority to comment on class-based differences in teaching styles. Rather than general statements about these differences, however, consider how a specific illustration or two would lend stronger support to your claim. You might, for example, recall a specific assignment in one school compared to a same-subject assignment in the other school.
You provide more concrete evidence in your third and fourth paragraphs by identifying experienced educators as sources. Your parents' comments work well in supporting your response to Anyon's essay. Considering your writing situation (your fellow student audience) you might want to identify them as your parents, as you did in your first draft. Doing so would help you more clearly define your unique position regarding the subject of Anyon's essay. You might explain to your audience that as a student of public schools and the son of two parents involved in public school education, you have strong reasons to agree with Anyon's ideas and implications.
Again, your efforts in revision and throughout this unit have culminated in a superb ARE. Consider the suggestions above as you approach future writing assignments, and keep up the good work.
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