Revising for Conciseness

Back Back to Being Concise

Revising for conciseness can also help you see that you’ve repeated the same main idea rather than filled in major points from throughout the paper. In this example, we underline repetition to see that the abstract reduces to a single main point.

Community Right-to-Know Notice. Federal Register: January 23, 1998 (Volume 63, Number 15). "Phosphoric Acid; Toxic Chemical Release Reporting." Environmental Protection Agency (EPA).

http://www.epa.gov/fedrgstr/EPA-WASTE/1998/January/Day-23/f1644.htm

EPA is denying a petition to delete phosphoric acid from the reporting requirements under section 313 of the Emergency Planning and Community Right-to-Know Act of 1986 (EPCRA) and section 6607 of the Pollution Prevention Act of 1990 (PPA). This action is based on EPA’s conclusion that phosphoric acid does not meet the deletion criteria of EPCRA section 313(d)(3). [repeats first sentence and adds only the subsection number of the Act] Specifically, EPA is denying this petition because EPA’s review of the petition and available information resulted in the conclusion that phosphoric acid meets the listing criterion in EPCRA section 313(d)(2)(C) [repeats information already given] in that the phosphates that result from the neutralization of phosphoric acid may cause algal blooms. Algal blooms result in deoxygenation of the water and other effects that may ultimately lead to a number of serious adverse effects on ecosystems, including fish kills and changes in the composition of animal and plant life.