Narrative 2: Academic Piece on a Significant Experience
For this essay you're going to use the same situation that you wrote about in Narrative 1, but this time you'll revise it for a different audience. Using the "academic" piece you read as a model, as well as the suggestions you've received from your tutor and from other students on the web forum, revise your piece to reflect the academic conventions of purpose, focus, development and organization.
The question you'll answer is the same as last time: "How has a this experience changed me?"
You're answering it for an academic audience. In other words, like (name of person whose narrative they've read), you want to say something about a significant experience in this paper that has implications for your advisor, your teachers, or other students who want to get to know you better. In order for your audience to hear what you have to say, though, you need to give it to them in a form they'll understand. That includes conventions like a thesis statement-one main focused idea-sufficient development, complete sentences, etc.
The goals are to make your point as strongly as possible by (1) staying focused on one significant experience, (2) keep to the purpose of showing how that experience changed you, and (3) showing the change rather than just telling your readers about it, by using vivid, concrete details.
If you're having trouble getting started, try some of the exercises in the "Generating Ideas," "Finding/Expressing Main Ideas," and "Developing Ideas" sections at the back of this resource packet, or ask your tutor for ideas.